Some of the best “quotes” from my clients over the years. Really!
“I don’t need it urgently, by the end of the day should be fine.”
“Please send me a jpeg of the logo in all white.”
“We would like the white background to be a darker shade of white.”
CLIENT: Great! Now can you add Mickey Mouse to the page?
ME: There may be some licensing issues with that. Do you have an affiliation with Disney? Can you supply me with an image you have permission to use? The client sends me the first Mickey Mouse image he finds on Google Images.
CLIENT: Can you add a football and animate it so he is kicking it?
ME: No, I’m not an animator.
CLIENT: Do you know someone that can do this?
ME: Walt Disney could.
CLIENT: Great! Can he do it in the budget?
“This is not time-sensitive, but I need it before Monday.”
“Can you make the purple more royal?”
“The mobile site looks great! How do I view it on my phone?”
“Please use the font named “sample.”
“Where are the JPEG files you said you would e-mail me? All I’ve received are a bunch of JPG files.”
“Here is a list of sites you can steal images from.”
“The website looks great on my screen, but I want to come in to see it in person before I sign off.”
“I’ve decided on the photos that I would like you to use on the website. They are attached to this email. Please send them back when you’re finished as they are my only copies. Thanks!”
“Help! We had an image come in that needs to be published, but it’s upside down! Can we still use it?”
“The image of the family walking down the beach… Let’s just retouch it so they’re facing the camera.”
“I’m trying to type my password, but all I see are stars!”
“I’ve sent you a photo of the team to include in the brochure. Rob, the guy on the right, is wearing a horrible sweater though—can you just rub his sweater out in photoshop? And if he’s not wearing anything underneath, could you paint him a nice shirt?”
“Could you please send me a different file— one that is not a… what’s it called…jpg? I spent the last two hours trying to copy the text from this thing, and it is driving me crazy!”
“I like your design, but could you make it with a white background?… We’re trying to save money on printing costs.”
“I’m trying to print that black and white flyer you made me, but my printer is out of ink and the black parts are coming out too light. Can you make the black darker and resend it?”
“I don’t want dark grey. I am looking for more of a light black.”
“Could you take five minutes and design us a logo?”
“How much would you charge for that? Bare in mind, we’re in a recession.”
“I’m sending you a ziplock with the files in it.”
“This shouldn’t take you very long, I could probably do it in MSWord in an hour.”
“That’s the wrong shade of black.”
“Please email me back the file. I sent you the only copy I have.”
“Can we have gold on our website, or will that cost us more?”
“These stock images are way too expensive, please just remove the watermarks in Photoshop.”
“I don’t want to print my brochure in CMYK, because it is more expensive and has one color more than RGB, so print it in RGB and I will save some money.”
“We have a really tight budget on this project so whatever you can do to cut costs would be really great - like just do it in your spare time.”